"Hello, Mr. Armbruster" said a voice of asian decent.
All Mr. Armbruster said was a low mumble & some groaning. He was laying on a cot somewhere in East Asia. This insulted the Mr. Armbruster's killer. She liked her kills to awake & ready to die. She poked Mr. Armbruster again with the blunt end of her sword. This got Mr. Armbruster mad. He swung around & yelled "WHAT?"
After that he liked the woman, she was dressed in a tradistional Kimono & in her hands was a very large sword.
"Crap!" was Mr. Armbruster only action & the last thing he ever said. as his head cut off short there after.
This was Arnie J Armbruster's last meomory of his father, being killed by a woman in a kimono. Now, we fast forword 20 years to a little sushi bar called "What the Pho!" & a sober Arnie Armbruster, it was still early in the day so his soberness will not be long lived. He was enjoying some nice tea, Arnie doesn't know what type it is & he doesn't really care. Then like an angel of death, a woman dressed in a fimilar kimono walks in.
She says his full & then some other stuff that sound like random noise but if they were translated not English would be: "Mr. Arnold James Flying Hippopotamus Armbruster, I am your angel of death. You have been marked by the Clan of Flying Weasels to die on this day in May. I being their most skilled Warriors have the pleasure of seeing you die!"
Now, Arnie didn't he had been mark by the Clan of the Flying Weasels or that this woman wanted to kill him. He tought this was some stage show for his enjoyment, he did hear his name mentioned. She did do some fancy moves & when she stoped for a moment, Arnie clapped & toasted her with his tea.
She said "How dare you insult me! Your death will now be even more sweet."
Arnie just thought was announceing her next move, which now involed her sword. As she dance her dance of death, Arnie's mostly destroyed long term memory starts to work. Arnie then thinks "Hey! I've seen this somewhere before!"
Near the end of the second movement of the daeth dance she threw some knives at Arnie & the missed his head by a few inches.
"Hey!" he yelled. Then, his mind made the connection: She was trying or is going to kill him.
"Are you trying to kill me?" Arnie asked.
She noded & said "Yes. I am going to kill you, you American Swine!"
Arnie didn't understand what she said, but understood the nod. Arnie didn't want to die. He had a list of thing he wanted to do in his life & he'd only done 2 of them (Piss in every state in the US & Make out with a Drunken Celebrity), he still had 40 more things to do!
Arnie got up & looked around for something to protect himself with. There was nothing he could see. He did have a pen & they do say a pen in mightier then the sword, but Arnie always thought that was a load of Bull S***. But, it weas the only thing he had. He pulled out his pen & stodd defencively.
His killer laughed at him. "You dare threaten me with a writting instrument!"
Arnie didn't know what she said but, it he thinks it had something to do with his mother. No one insults Mama Armbruster! So, Arnie flings the Pen at his killer. Whil Laughing, she left her guard down & Arnie's pen lodged it's self in her eye. Unknown to Arnie was he used a pen with ink that she happens to be allergic to!
This mad her mad, she now couldn't see out one eye & she said "Now, American Swine prepare to die!" she lefted her sword with both hands over her head & ran towords Arnie with a look of hate & malice. She yelled as she ran towards him.
Arnie stepped out tof the way & she ran into a brick wall. This did not stop her, she tunred around & started to irraticly wave her sword around.
Arnie narrowly avoided every slice. "Hey, lady. I don't know what your beef is but I don't want to die!''
"It cares not weither or not you want to, it is if you shall!" she says. Again Arnie does understand.
He goes for he last resort, he kicks her in the groin. That doesn't do anything fdor she has nothing there to cause her pain.
She smiles & then, Arnie punches her in the face. Now, she was really mad! Normally, the person she has been sent to kill is dead by now.
"Why won't you die?" She says, this time in broken english. Arnie understands.
"Becuase I don't want to!" he yells
This shockers her. Is the reason he's not dead simply because he doesn't want to?
She drops her sword & sits down. This fact has shaken her to the core. Arnie sits down, pulls out his list & a pen. He crosses off "Fight with an Asian Chick & not die". He looks at the one after that on his list.
"Hey, want to make out?"
Number 28 on Arnie's list of stuff to do in his Lifetime: Make out with some Asian Chick.
The End!
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